Member-only story
Watermelon Thief
A true summer tale
The watermelon thief didn’t strike in the dead of a Florida summer night
why no!
word is, the community garden’s produce was pilfered
in the illuminating dew of mid-wet morning daylight
maybe the word “community” was phonologically misconstrued by said thief
an honest mistake by perhaps the homeless man rumored to be
scoping out cherry tomatoes, banana peppers, and a single garden rock prettily painted in jewel tones
even the three plum-colored eggplants that dangled like oversized
Christmas ornaments in plot #23 were fair game
a subsequent gardeners’ group text vindicated the homeless suspect
pointing fingers instead at a different breed of klepto
klepto of kale, cauliflower, carrots, corn, and collards
a Southern favorite
she heralded in driving a white Mercedes
touted the group text
dared to traipse through the garden
in broad daylight
then, this machete-wielding slayer of garden delights
severed the watermelon stem clean
seizing the vegetarian game
why no, ten wet pounds of sweet pulp
weren’t taken in the dead of the Florida summer night
but in broad daylight.
